So far... its just a muddle of trying to get settled. I was back in the hospital on Friday just gone as I had a nut come loose (yes I already know..... I have a screw loose!) that was tightened, I was X rayed again but I haven't heard about the results yet. Something tells me if it where bad news the top man would have been in touch by now.
Honestly I have good hours and bad hours. Generally it takes me a while to wake up, I'm on sleeping pills which leave me pretty groggy. I'm then good for a few hours but if I do too much or have too many visitors it goes against me and I start to feel pretty low in the late afternoon. I'm learning it's best to go have a nap in the afternoon then I feel a bit chirpier in the evenings.
I've read a few of these Blogs but most of them are written once the thing is off or from the positive side..... forgive me it's early evening and I haven't had my nap this afternoon! However I thought I would be honest and means the good and the bad! All in though I do think that whilst this halo thing is bloody annoying its so much more preferable than the alternative.
I managed to walk round the fields near our house yesterday which was great, I felt much much happier, if exhausted when we got back. Defiantly not stable enough to go alone, not sure if I will get to the point when I can go alone but I will try.... if my husband and his band of co-conspirators will let me.
Today.... big break though.... I managed to walk to the pub up the road! Only had a cup of tea when I got there but my husband was thrilled..... he had a pint. People to look, I don't think they mean it in a bad way it's just that they have no idea what to think. Let them look.
(In my limited experience of 2 trips out.... people tend to do 1 of 3 things. 1, they look and you know that they are examining the strange contraption round your head. 2, they ignore you simply pretend that they can't or haven't seen you. it's nothing to do with you they have their own self confidence issues and they don't know how to respond, pity them. 3, they speak to you like there is nothing strange about you.
Whilst I'm on the subject of looking.... for me the hardest part was when my close friends and family first saw me... I hadn't really thought about it.... but the look on their faces made it clear that it didn't look ideal.... my cousin, a paramedic, was great pretended there was nothing unusual going on! my friend... brilliant, she took one look at me and started laughing.... did me the world of good! - top tip if your about to go see someone in a Halo Vest, it will look bad but remember they probably haven't seen themselves yet, they keep mirrors to a minimum on the more serious wards.)
Bit trashed this evening but thats ok, done a lot in the last few days. You have to get your head round the fact that you just can't do what you where doing a few weeks about and think positively about the little victories. 3 weeks ago I did 10 miles on my mountain bike and hardly noticed. Today I walked about 1/3 of a mile and was exhausted. It's all relative and for me I'm just glad that I can walk that 1/3 of a mile... I'll do it again on Tuesday. I might even fancy a glass of wine when I get there.... will make the wobbly walk home even more interesting!
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